We may develop a belief that negative emotions can’t be tolerated or changed and then seek external ways to self soothe, such as using substances. In this way, we can struggle to learn effective ways to self-regulate as adults. For the child this is when tolerable, fleeting stress can become toxic, permanent stress.

Sadly many children grow up in environments that are neglectful and abusive. What children need is ‘good enough’ parenting so that they feel safe and loved. There is no such thing as perfect parenting and moments of inattentiveness or frustration are very unlikely to cause significant harm. These caregivers often struggle to effectively manage their children’s distress. Inattentive or dismissive caregivers often have their own troubles and difficulties which impact on their ability to manage their own emotions. We don’t have a caregiver to turn to when we are distressed, or the caregiver is either inattentive, dismissive or abusive, our distress remains or deepens. As the cortex, the part of the brain that speaks up to warn us against the consequences of an inappropriate, self destructive behavior is now effectively gagged, we might not be able to resist this angry impulse, and before we know it we have yelled at our boss or worse. Sometimes we can experience what we call a ‘limbic highjack’ the limbic system gets overwhelmed and in effect shuts down the cortex. However, my cortex is telling me that this isn’t very sensible as I risk losing my job, so it prevents me from acting on this urge. The cortex allows us to reflect on what we think and feel, and grant permission to, or prevent us from, acting on certain feelings and impulses.įor example, I might feel really angry (limbic system firing up) with my manager for blaming me for something I haven’t done, and my urge is to yell at him. The final and most sophisticated layer of our brain is the cortex. The second part of brain development is the limbic system this is responsible for sensing and feeling (eg., I see something threatening and I feel fear). Like keeping our breathing, heart rate and temperature within a healthy range. The first, and most basic part of our brain is the brain stem this deals with basic physiological processes So, just like we need to do regular weightlifting if we want our muscles to grow and become stronger, for our brain to develop and become more functional, we need to give it a regular workout. An emerging observation from brain science is ‘neuro plasticity’, meaning that the brain is malleable throughout our life. Like anything in life we want to become better at, we need regular practice. These practices form part of an emotion regulation toolkit that can help us respond skilfully to the various challenges life throws at us. Brain Gym is designed as a guided self-help course where we will introduce tried and tested practices to bring some perspective and balance to our thinking and dampen overwhelming emotions. We will then explore the role of attention, breathing, imagery, the body, and the relationship we have with ourselves and people around us in fostering good mental health. We will look at how the brain generates thoughts, feelings and physical sensations, pleasant and unpleasant. The aim of Brain Gym is twofold firstly, to help you better understand your thoughts and feelings, and secondly to strengthen your ability to manage these more skilfully We can be our ‘own worst enemy’ resorting to self-blame, self-criticism and ‘kicking ourselves when we are down’. Sometimes these challenges can feel overwhelming, leading us to feel stuck, low and despairing. Life can often throw up challenges and difficult things can happen to us, as children, young people and adults. You will learn strategies to calm and reassure yourself when feeling low, anxious or overwhelmed, and ultimately be more in control of your emotions. In these pages you will find information to help you better understand the brain and how it affects the way we think, feel and act. Brain Gym is a model to help understand and regulate your emotions:

Brain gym activities pdf